I am a 17 year old high school student who has enough motivation to get good grades and move on to college. However, I have frequent panic/anxiety attacks where I freak out and take it out on my family. I believe I have a horrible fear of uncertainty because I constantly think nothing will end up good for me and I'm always wondering when I'll be truly happy.
I'm afraid to get too close to people and open up because I only see them leaving me. I am very afraid of the whole marriage and relationship thing for the future because I guess I come off as extremely sad because people leave frequently from my life and that years me apart.
Also, my parents got a divorce last year so that may have something to do with it. I also have trouble keeping friends. They leave too easily and I don't know why because I try so hard to make them happy and talk to them about their problems.
I see such horrible things in people all the time but don't get me wrong, I see good too. However, the bad can be overpowering. I just notice these things about people by how they converse and present themselves. I also have a tendency to read stuff over and over again and this can last for awhile until I force myself to move on to the next thing.
I just don't feel very comfortable with life. It feels very twisted and broken. I want to be happy and have faith in people but I'm afraid and I also find talking to people casually is pointless because they will leave anyways. I don't know why I think or do these things. Help
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