My problem is performance anxiety. I mean specifically, an inability to stand and speak in front of an audience of one or more. As a result, I am basically non-verbal. I rely on diverting attention to others by using wise cracks and facial gesturing. But the truth is that this problem has held me back. I have a clerical job that I far exceed the standards for, and I have just gone back to college, after quitting over 20 yrs ago, because I couldn't stand and speak. I dread the thought of another semester where I may be "called upon." My grade point so far is 3.8, so again, it is not a question of being able to perform intellectually. I see a therapist weekly, that I have a hard time speaking with one on one. I find my voice drops so low that she can barely hear me. I have tried another psychiatrist, but again, I will speak of anything except myself. Is this just SHYNESS? so live with it? Why do I hate myself so much because I cannot overcome this problem. I have taken Paxil and BuSpar, but these do not address my original problem with the performance anxiety. Being drugged up does not take away the fear. Is there any hope?
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