How can I change my life?

I am a 34 yr. old female, educated, good job, homeowner, people say I am very attractive, but have trouble with relationships, i.e., I can\'t seem to hold on to one. Anytime I start seeing a man I am attracted to, he always ends up leaving, and I am left feeling rejected and not good enough. I know I have a problem with self-esteem-my father and stepmother constantly told me as a child that I was ugly, stupid, and that I would never make it in life. I have consistently been abandoned. My mom died when I was 13, and my parents were already divorced. My dad left years before she died (they were both remarried). I think I have just been reliving my dad leaving and rejecting me through the relationships I have had with men. I am getting too old, I want to have a healthy relationship. People say \"You need to get some self-esteem, learn to love yourself before you can have a relationship.\" My question is, how do you get self-esteem if you never learned it as a child? Is it too late? I am also suffering from a severe eating disorder that I have had since the age of 12, which definitely makes me feel even worse about myself. As I get older, I find myself getting more depressed about life in general. Please help.

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