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Review of "Romantic Intelligence"

By Mary Valentis and John Valentis
New Harbinger, 2003
Review by Dana Vigilante on Apr 4th 2006
Romantic Intelligence

I really enjoyed this book.  Although I failed the first chapter's Romantic Intelligence quiz miserably, I thoroughly enjoyed reading about what is really behind all of the emotions that we go through with our relationships.  Some good, others not so good, the emotions and feelings discussed in this book are on the mark.
Written by a husband and wife team (who are also motivational speakers, as well lecturers, not to mention the call-in radio show that he hosts weekly in the Albany, New York area), this book touches on true love as well as infatuation and what the difference is between the both.  It discusses, among other things, jealousy, verbal and emotional abuses, as well as the many different relationship roadblocks that the couples interviewed for this book have gone through. 

The topics range from mild issues (lack of communication, wet towels on the bathroom floor); to the story of one woman who was in love with her boyfriend until she saw the way that he treated his mother (red flag).  Some salvageable, others irreparable, the issues discussed in this book allow the reader to realize that all relationships have problems and that most can be worked out with a little compromise from both parties. 

The quizzes and questionnaires in the book help the readers realize their weaknesses, recognize their strengths and hopefully allow them to differentiate the two.   I enjoyed the questions that were asked, as they definitely required a bit of soul-searching, and I found myself actually mulling over a few of them for quite some time.  I found some of the multiple choice questions extremely difficult, especially in the chapter discussing how well we resolve emotional conflict. I felt the way I did when answering questions for the MENSA exam years ago -- the questions seem like trick questions, as if any of the three answers could have been the correct choice, yet "all of the above" was not an answer option.    Again, these questions definitely give you reason to use your thinking cap.  More fun to answer with your significant other, these questions definitely give you reason to reflect on things.

The basis of the book is to educate the reader on how to become relationship savvy, as well as hang on to their self-worth while hanging on to the love of their life.  With chapters chock full of insight on compromise, honesty, compassion and empathy, I would recommend this book to anyone involved in a relationship.  It makes for an excellent reference source when you and your significant other hit a snafu.  I particularly like the fact that others share the same exact problems that we have all gone through at one time or another in a relationship.

An exceptional choice for both male and female readers, this book covers all of the emotions that make for relationships. 

 

© 2006 Dana Vigilante

Dana Vigilante is a hospice educator as well as an advocate for proper end-of-life care and a certified bereavement group facilitator. Currently writing a book based on interviews with terminally ill hospice patients, she divides her time between New Jersey and San Francisco.

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