Skip 
Navigation Link

Northern Wyoming Mental Health Center Inc.

Looking for Help?
Click Here for the Office Location Nearest You

Relationship Problems

Ask Anne: Relationship Advice
Ask Anne
Relationship Questions

How to work out differences

I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 months. We were co-workers and acquaintances for 2 years before we dated. He also pursued me for those 2 years. We only started dating after we no longer worked together (one of my rules).

He treats me great. Never abusive, never leaves me to "hang with the boys" and other typical problems. However, we have quite a few differences that I feel are serious and may hinder our relationship.

I have a 9 year old daughter and don't want anymore children. There is a slight possibility that I will change my mind later, but it is very slight. I haven't told him about the slight chance I'll change my mind so as not to give him false hope if I don't change my mind. He does want children but is willing to make the sacrifice of not having any of his own, in order to be with me. I don't that is fair for him. And I am afraid that no matter how much he doesn't think so, that he will eventually resent me if we don't have a child together. His argument to that is that maybe because of his life choices that having children just isn't an option (he will be 37 soon).

We have polar opinions on political views, spending styles, some parenting issues, etc. I feel that he is negative with regard to life (irritated with co-workers, complains about work a lot, talks about others negatively) and this REALLY bothers me. Yet, my mistake is that I don't express these feelings. I don't know how.

So, I am looking into getting therapy for myself. I know I have my issues as well due to an awful marriage with a husband who cheated several times. I also know that my boyfriend has his issues from childhood as well.

If I get my personal therapy, and we get couple therapy, and if marriage comes around, we get family therapy, do you think there is a chance for us?

I really love him, but I'm scared to commit more to someone (as in marriage) and find out that we were never compatible in the first place. Please tell me what you think.

THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.

Disclaimer

  • 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • 'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
  • Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by 'Anne' to people submitting questions.
  • 'Anne', Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. 'Anne' and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.

Share This

Resources