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Ask Anne: Relationship Advice
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Relationship Questions

He Says I'm Too Emotional

My husband of 18+ years and myself have separated at his request. He says he is not happy. He says he is frustrated with our relationship. He says I am the problem and I already know what his frustrations are. We have trouble talking without me getting emotional. I am committed to this marriage and I have told him so. He says he is "testing" me to see if I will change, but he sees little hope for me. He's not willing to work on the problems - but he has gone to counseling with our pastor, mostly just to satisfy me. He is currently living with a brother and has not moved the majority of his things from the family home - he comes over once or twice a week to see the kids (15 & 17) briefly and to check on the house. What is my role here? He is making no moves toward any legal separation or divorce, yet he is making no moves toward reconciliation. I am seeking therapy myself. Should I just let him go his own way or let him know I am willing to work on this relationship? We have been together for 24 years - more than half our lives.

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Disclaimer

  • 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • 'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
  • Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
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  • No correspondence takes place.
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  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.

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