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Relationship Problems

Ask Anne: Relationship Advice
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Relationship Questions

I Can't Say No To My Affair

I have been having an affair with a divorced man for at least 4 years. I am married with grown children. I would like to break away from this relationship but can't. Emotionally, it hurts to think about not being with him, seeing him or talking to him. On the other hand, I am unhappy and on an emotional roller coaster with the guilt. I am a professional executive. I know better. In every other situation, I react and am able to take control and resolve problems. People look to me for advice and direction. Would you help me answer a few questions. Why do I feel so bad when I try to break things up? Why does it hurt my heart and soul so deeply that I get physical symptoms? But, the most troubling question to me is, why do I feel like I'm nothing when I'm without him? Why do I need his (the other man's) attention, love and adoration? I feel like I'm a rational person. I just can't figure me out. The affair is wonderful...when we're together. But, my marraige sustains me. My husband's understanding and love keep me going. But, our romance has faded. There is no excitement in our marriage. I hope that you can help me sort a few things out. Thanks for listening.

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Disclaimer

  • 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • 'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
  • Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
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  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.

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