I have been married for almost two years. I love my husband very much, and we are working through lots of our problems. One problem I have is that I have some unresolved feeling for another person that I never got to "try on" before I got married. An unrequited love of sorts, although this other person has admitting regret of not having a go with me, too. Since I am not open to the possibility of cheating or breaking up my marriage, what are some effective ways of dealing with these feelings? I don't feel the same way about my husband as I do this other person. My husband I love in a very practical and real way, where this other person is fanciful, magical, and probably just a fantasy. I do not feel special or magical around my husband, but I do around this other person. My husband has neglected recognizing how important having these types of romantic feelings is to me, which is why I think that I have started thinking about this other person again. These feelings of romance and love are ones I wish to have with my husband but I don't know how to achieve that. I need to get over these feelings myself before I can expect anything to improve with my husband. I have tried to tell my husband what I need but he just gets mad at me. Any advice?
THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
- 'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by 'Anne' to people submitting questions.
- 'Anne', Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. 'Anne' and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.