Skip 
Navigation Link

Northern Wyoming Mental Health Center Inc.

Looking for Help?
Click Here for the Office Location Nearest You

Relationship Problems

Ask Anne: Relationship Advice
Ask Anne
Relationship Questions

Do you really ever 'Just Know' ?

When I met my boyfriend a year ago, i felt a rush of emotion that I have never felt before. Not a giddy, lustful feeling, rather, a deep, intense, calm feeling. I remember telling my family and close friends, "I've never felt this way before. Even if circumstances come between us and we don't end up together for the long haul, then the person I do commit to spend my life with will create this feeling in me cause i truly believe that this is that "it" feeling people talk about when they say you "just know".

We dated long distance for about 6 months, only seeing each other 3 times. At the end of the summer, he moved to NY to be closer to me and try to give our relationship a fair shot. Now that we're in the same place and able to see each other more situations, I'm finding that nearly every little thing he does annoys me! We're from very different backgrounds: he is a Colorado mountain boy who likes a simple life and all natural/organic things. I live in NYC, and while I love the outdoors and want to share this with him, I also truly love and appreciate the urban experience, diversity, and culture that city life has to offer. I don't find him to be intellectually challenging and he has no serious future plan. That being said, he is so sweet and thoughtful, so loving and kind. He will cook for me and rub my back. He's very attentive but I'm starting to feel like I love him the way you love your pet (I mean that in the nicest way possible). He comforts me but i am beginning to question if he truly fits as my partner.

So what, then, happened to that feeling that I felt so deeply when we first held each other? Where did that overwhelming sense of calm and outpouring of love go? Am I over-thinking things and blocking the emotions from flowing or am I starting to realize a relationship is based on more factors than just feelings? Any thoughts...? For the sake of reference, I am 25 and he is 30 years old.

THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.

Disclaimer

  • 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • 'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
  • Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by 'Anne' to people submitting questions.
  • 'Anne', Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. 'Anne' and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.

Share This

Resources