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Relationship Questions

Nervous about nudity

Hi Anne, Hoping you can help with what has become a serious problem for me. I have never been comfortable naked and have only recently realized that it may even be an issue for me. I was raised in a very modest house with parents who were not affectionate with each other. My mother was sexually abused as a child and I do think this has impacted my level of feeling shame about my body. Despite this and despite the fact that it has been 20 years since I wore a swimming suit out in daylight, I have had a few successful sexual relationships in my early 20's some lasting years without this being a real issue. I don't have issues with being naked while in the "act" with a partner when lights are low, but when "on display" ,even while dressing, it doesn't feel right. I feel vulnerable and uncomfortable - the farthest from sexy. Now nearing 30 and recently married, I am just now realizing that my husband takes enormous offense to my modesty. It has affected our sex-life because he feels like I don't trust him and he thinks being denied nude peeks at me takes away from his excitement and interest in me. On the flip-side, I feel like I can't trust him because he isn't sensitive or encouraging since he takes it personally and that he doesn't find me attractive because all I feel is the animosity - the cycle just worsens. In my gut, I don't think I will ever be the naked bunny running around the house that he wants me to be - even with the right kind of encouragement. Am I a freak for being so modest? I was very open with my husband about my sensitivities while dating, why is this coming up now? My husband believes that I will never be happy with anyone if I can't be comfortable being naked around the house. Do you believe that this is really true? In most regards, I actually think I am a sane, happy person and happy to be who I am - save this one thing.... I am feeling passively-aggressively bullied by my beloved. Is it really my fault? Help? Thanks, Sarah

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