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Relationship Problems

Ask Anne: Relationship Advice
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Relationship Questions

Why does my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend have to be so involved in his life?

I have dated this man for over six years. His child was born shortly after we met. He has always been a very responsible father and I believe he would do anything for his son. His son's mother is still completely in love with my boyfriend (he has not told me this but I'm smart enough to figure this out) and of course she tries her best to be involved in his life. My boyfriend has told me before that she doesn't want their son to be around any of his "female friends" (I guess that would be me). My boyfriend seems to be afraid that she would take their son away if she found out about me. She has threated him a few times... sigh, very complicated. Things have been very extreme the past year as my boyfriend wants to keep both his son and his ex girlfriend happy to avoid complications. All three of them will go to the movies, attend soccer practice, have family dinners, go shopping, etc... She has even managed to make her way in to his own family (mother, siblings, cousins...). And so now it's one big happy family and they do everything together. This just about kills me as I am not welcome to join. His ex would not accept the fact that he's seeing somebody. Well, what's even worse is that he's too afraid of telling her. He told me before that he's not paying child support and so he does a lot of things for her to "keep her happy". Of course his son should be Number One. I grew up without a dad and I highly value my boyfriend's choice of priority. But the situation has become very complicated as his ex tags along everywhere. She loves him and she would hate my guts if she knew about me. Sigh, all this really is letting me down since I really want things to work out between my boyfriend and I. I feel very excluded as I have to "hide in the dark" so she will not find out about me. Please, any input will be helpful.

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