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Relationship Problems

Ask Anne: Relationship Advice
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Relationship Questions

Can You Help Me Save My Relationship?

For the first time in my life I am the one in the relationship that is head over heels in love. I've been deeply in love before but never wanted to settle down with someone. Now I do and I feel as though I am being punished for how I have acted in previous relationships. My current boyfriend and I live together and like my track record has proven, our first year of bliss is nearing disaster. We have both become so defensive that we can not seem to go more than two days without getting into an extremely emotional argument. Usually those arguments lead to disappointing realizations that he doesn't think the same way as me or value the same stuff that I do. He makes me feel like I am someone I know I'm not. He can turn a comment with the best of intentions into a blown out argument that usually has him leaving and me left balling. I never know what to do, I feel as if I lost it. I can not seem to get past thinking that arguments are not just stepping stones that couples cross rather,I seem them as huge boulders that get in my way. I feel that at that point, looking back at our journey those boulders have messed up our perfect path. I start to give up, shut down and lose hope as if its ruined beyond repair. I love him, but I feel emotionally abused and misunderstood. Can you help me save my relationship?

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Disclaimer

  • 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • 'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
  • Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by 'Anne' to people submitting questions.
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  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.

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