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Ask Anne: Relationship Advice
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Relationship Questions

So sick of this lying crap he puts on me

My husband had an affair on me for three years with my so called best friend. He claims the affair has stopped, and she lives 3 hours away now. However, I have a hard time trusting him as he still acts sneaky. He is in therapy and has been for 3 months now. His problem is masturbation. I came home from work one night only to find him trying to cover up the fact that he masturbated while looking at porn on the computer. This is something he is extremely ashamed of as he always says "I don’t do that" when in fact now he says he has a severe problem with it. This past summer, we were at my brothers house when he had excused himself to go into the bathroom...come to find out he was looking at porn...I caught him, he lied about it, but after "nailing the issue" he admitted 2 days later. After yelling and screaming. The fact is I hate nailing him or anybody on that matter but he does not tell me the truth. I have tried to keep this marriage together for the past three years, Yes, he has made changes in the fact that he now is working and trying to complete school, and does not seem so emotionally numb to me anymore. However, I am getting so sick of this lying crap he puts on me. The only time he ever lies in when I nail him for days, put myself through a living hell and then after the emotional roller coaster, he admits it, says he’s sorry and will "never do it again". I am beginning to think that I am working only to get out of this relationship of 10 years because of all the lies and pain he has put me and our 8 year old boy through. I never imagined my marriage to be like this. He did not tell me the kind of person he was and hid it very well from me 3 years prior to our marriage. I can't just walk away though, and if i did now, at least i have tried. The thing is...every possession is in his parents name and we have a child with severe MR. Thanks for your input

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