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Psychotherapy and Mental Health Questions

Controlling Husband

I've been married for 12 years now. Every year we argue of the same thing that rips our marriage almost apart. Money. We both have a spending problem. But most of all - it's his money and I stay home with the kids. (8, 3, & 2) I love being home with the kids, but lately all my friends have gone back to work and I'm feeling I need a new identity also. I've been freelancing as a Graphic Designer for 6 years and loving every minute but just recently I have gotten a sitter for my younger boys to do more work. I don't make as much, but I'm trying to find a means to get out of debt. I've been seeing a marriage counselor a couple times, but haven't felt much better, I'm on Celexa for depression because of the marriage, and praying like crazy for God to change my heart. He is very obsessive. The house must be clean, laundry (if it isn't I get the lecture of "It's not that difficult") He criticizes me in front of the kids, wrestles with them until they cry. Asked me to quit the PTA and church groups because I was being unfair to the kids. I've lost touch with a lot of my friends because of his jealous moods. I try to involve him with my friends and their husbands- we sometimes have fun, but it always comes down to me not doing "My Job", investing our money, balancing the check book, and taking care of the kids and house. Help? Is this mental abuse? I've tried talking about with hi and asking him to go to counseling with me he says it's my problem.... He is the problem. Ouch! My family says they will support any decision I make. I don't know if I even love him any more, but I care about my children's' outcome on life. Any advice?

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