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Relationship Problems

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Psychotherapy and Mental Health Questions

Who is my wife?

My wife and I have been married for 17 years and have 5 healthy children. First marriage for both. Typical ups and downs though finding we are drifitng apart as we get older. She seems intent on being an adolescent again. Last year she started playing an online role-playing game with lots of mostly adolescent males and after scary changes were noted in her a confrontation finally revealed a 3 month intense emotional affair with one of these kids (17 years old). She has broken it off but it took another 3 months to get her to quit playing this stupid game and chatting online and it took the threat of divorce to do it. She is unusually euphoric much of the time, acting 'goofy' and exuberant to a point that embarrasses us. She loves to 'hang out' with our teenagers but at times makes me uncomfortable when their friends are over. She will pinch pennies on kids clothes but thinks nothing of buying herself a $160 ipod to keep hip with music, etc. The extent of her deception during her affair was really frightening and of course has severely damaged our marriage. My distrust is a constant source of concern for me and earns only anger from her as she feels I should just 'be over it' like she is. She puts on different faces to please whomever she is with: our counselor, our religious leader, me, other men, etc. I really don't know if she is capable of being completely honest, even with herself anymore. I have wondered if mood or personality disorders can manifest this way and how can people best be approached about diagnostic analysis? Please help, I don't know who I'm married to. There is a strong family history of depression, anxiety d/o and schizophrenia in her family. Thank you.

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