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Ask Anne: Relationship Advice
Ask Anne
Relationship Questions

what am i afraid of?

Where do i begin? i have been with my sig. other for almost three years. we had a long distance relationship for 6 mos. then he moved in with me. i was still in my 20's and was going out a lot, now i am 31, bought a house (mortgage in my name) settled down and now prefer happy hour and dinners over late nights at bars and have changed my mind about his friends, i don't like the crappy places they go and the people there. at first i thought i was getting old, ha ha, or i was selfish, then realized my values and standards have changed and i think for the better, his have not. there are some weeks he will go out to 3-4 in the morning 4 days a week, then never does anything at home to help me and is always cranky because he is tired and hung over and says it is his job and that the long hours and stress are alway y he is in bad mood, oh and my nagging to cut the grass finally or take trash out etc...and it is really the partying, i know. he even has fought with me then does not come home and blames it on me saying that y should he come to our home when it will be a fight, he runs away. i think it is all an excuse to go out and drink every night with his loser friends who cant keep a girl or a job. as u can tell i am mad at this point. all my friends hate him, and ask y i stay and what does he have to offer me??? he hardly makes any $$$, i am the bread winner at only $42k/yr, if he does make $ he gives me bill money then complains he is broke then i have to give him $$$ and he makes me feel crazy and turns it all on me and makes me feel guilty. y do i stay, y am i afraid to leave him. i have left bad friends and men before, y is it diff. with him?? my parents already told me that they would loan me the $9k! ( and they are retired and my mom is bedridden w/ MS and my dad only made $50k a year before that, take it out of their savings, makes me feel like crap) i would need to kick him out and clean our debt up (car, credit cards etc...) so i can keep the house and loose him, so if i have a way out, y do i stay and y do i feel this deep overwhelming love for someone like this?? there is so much more and i know i have my faults and have admitted them to him, but damn what is wrong with me? if i waist any more time i will probably end up alone, or miserable HELP!!!



  • 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
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